When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
