this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sober January is a disaster.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
