"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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