he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
