woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
