Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
