Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
