I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
