Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
