I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
