recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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