my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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