im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
