Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
