Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
