My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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