he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
