Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
