I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize