there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hate all girls vehemently.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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