this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
