What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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