One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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