508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He passed out mid-signature
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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