Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
