Jerry, you need to find god
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
