I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
