i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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