Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize