You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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