i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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