remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
