Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
where are you?
Hypothermia
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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