I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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