I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
