you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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