Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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