my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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