At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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