marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
