you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She bit a glass in half.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
