do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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