I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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