she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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