Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
my liver is dry heaving
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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