you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
