its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
