i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
