Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
