I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The power of my boobs compel you
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
