So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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