i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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