what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
