so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He shit in the fireplace
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
