I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
