but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
