he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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