Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
