You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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