The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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