So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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