Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
