dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
