Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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